Someday I would like to run away.
Not anywhere in this world, but somewhere far, far away.
In my mind’s eye I can nearly see it – a lush green meadow, brimming with sunlight, and blissfully empty.
There I will drop the facade I am forced to carry around everyday, and be me…me with abandon.
I will RUN.
I will run, obscenely fast, till the wind in my ears drowns out all thoughts and feelings – no grief, no love, no happiness.
I will run till I can run no more, and then I will fall down on the grass (damn my allergies!), and I will SCREAM!!!
I will SCREAM.
Scream till I can scream no more – scream HATE and scream LOVE…feelings too obscene to be spoken about directly in our twilight world of dainty manners. It’s not ‘right’ to love too much; it’s not right to take anything so to heart. Tread lightly, they tell me, it’s the only proper thing to do. Don’t let anyone affect you, and if they do – for heaven’s sake – don’t tell me, lest we both drown.
I WILL SCREAM AND THERE WILL BE NO EARS TO JUDGE.
I will LAUGH!
Laugh so hard that tears fall down my cheeks, and my knees buckle with mirth. The kind of laughter that provokes Destiny.
I will CRY.
Crying isn’t becoming. Sorrow is a plague. Hide your tears under make-up and shallow words. But I will WEEP…someday, the ocean within me shall get its deserved release.
I will DANCE.
I will move with abandon, sing breathlessly, and –
I will LIVE.
Someday…soon…but not today.
A To-Do List awaits me.