What do you look for in a friend? – 9th April 2014

downloadAn intriguing question arose to my mind today as I sat in the train stuck in the middle of nowhere(Western Railways being late as always). Whatever you say about Mumbai locals, you have to admit, they do give you a lot of time to meditate and ponder over Life’s deep questions. What is that one thing common among all my friends, that made me want to befriend them? I have a wide bunch of friends spread across different cities and countries, from different backgrounds, religions, streams, and careers and I am extremely proud of all of them. But why is that out of all the people in the class or the world I like them the most. What is, I pondered as the train started jerkily, is the basic foundation of friendship?

Of course such an intriguing question had to be immediately forwarded to all my friends on Whatsapp. The most common (actually the only reply) I received from those who didn’t shrug it off as one more of my eccentricities was Trust. Trust is the most important thing in a friendship. Sure it is one of the most important thing between friends, but I can’t honestly call it the most important. After all do you trust all your friends equally? Probably not. You might trust your best friend with your life, but there will be another guy whom you won’t trust with your dog. But that doesn’t mean he is not your friend. You don’t confess your secrets to all friends equally.

winnie the pooh friendship cardAfter deep thinking, I got an answer that I could accept: Respect. Respect is the most important thing in a friendship, in my opinion. I respect all my friends, for some quality of theirs or some achievement. If I did not respect a person, he would not be my friend. Maybe my stooge whom I would love like one loves a pet; but I don’t think condescension is one quality that can ever exist between friends. Disdain mars friendship. If you can’t respect your friend despite differences then I think you are fooling yourself that what you have is friendship.


I always found Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne to be a wonderful book of stories on friendship.

Of course you don’t have to agree with me. As I already said I am looking for answers. I would love to hear your views. Feel free to make ample use of the Comment Box 🙂

[I was indeed thinking over friendship today, even before I saw the Daily Prompt of the Day. It is almost like telepathy. Or maybe I have some hitherto unknown psychic powers].


2 thoughts on “What do you look for in a friend? – 9th April 2014

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